My eyes glistened this morning…not because of anything I did or didn’t do. No. Rather, because of the linked story below. A prefacing note on why it came to me with such caring force. Have shared it before, but one of those that cannot be shared only once.
I served the Broadmoor Community Church in Colorado Springs in the 80’s. [Okay, go ahead…know any other church named after a hotel? Well, maybe the hotel was named after the church!]
Craig [not his name for personal/protective reasons] was a widower. One of the most ethical men I’ve ever met, which in today’s world gets put in the rarity clot. He had been married over 50 years, his family on the east coast, his two sons quite ills, so travel was hard from them to Craig and the reverse.
Craig shared he wanted to “find someone to take care of me.” It was a caretaker not love-maker he clarified. I smiled, indicating I knew nothing about any match service. He wasn’t interested in that, thinking a local Bingo game could be a surprise provider. He simply wanted to have someone living with him and insisted I perform his wedding, so he would not lose his most ethical status.
Sometime later he made an appointment with enthusiasm. I was delighted. At first. Craig and his intended sat in my office. Something about her “attitude” alerted me to something important. I didn’t see it, but imagined dollar signs in her eyes. Oh, she said all the right things about care giving. I didn’t know what to do. I don’t have a crystal ball.
It then hit me as I asked Craig, the subtlest question that probably hit the intended like a steel shaft, “Craig, I’m assuming you have a prenuptial agreement.” Craig was not a poor man, by any consideration.
He didn’t know what that was. His intended stared at me with that “shut up!” glare. When I explained what the purpose of a pre-nuptial agreement is he looked pleased, “Ah, of course, that makes sense. Got to remember my sons and their families.” He turned to his intended, “You agree, don’t you?”
She nodded, as slight and hesitant as you could ever imagine.
A month later Craig explained the wedding was off; his intended became unintended. About a year later Craig sent up another appointment. His intended, someone very different who exuded kindness, made it clear: she insisted on a prenuptial agreement, she could help Craig and she understood he should do nothing to challenge his most ethical character.
It was a lovely wedding.
Less than a year later Craig died. In peace.
Now, the link…a link that should outnumber in repetition any other news that “hits the world” today.